She’s caught between two worlds, but she knows her father loves her, and she knows Yeshua loves her, and I trust God to complete what he started in her.

Rachel never remarried.

Neither did I.

We both dedicated our lives to serving Yeshua in different ways.

She works with Jewish women who have lost family and community because of their faith.

I work with former rabbis and Jewish leaders navigating the same journey I walked.

We’re friends.

Sometimes we minister together.

It’s not the marriage we had, but it’s a partnership built on truth rather than tradition.

And there’s something beautiful about that.

I’m older now.

The hair I have left is gray.

My health isn’t what it used to be, but I’ve never been more fulfilled, more at peace, more certain that I’m doing exactly what God created me to do.

Do I regret what I lost?

Yes, of course.

I miss my father every day.

I miss the relationship I could have had with my sisters and brother.

I miss watching my nieces and nephews grow up.

I miss Sarah.

But would I do it again?

Would I make the same choice knowing everything I know now about what it would cost?

Without hesitation a thousand times, yes.

because I found something that was worth more than all of it.

I found truth.

I found the Messiah.

I found the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the person of Yeshua.

I found forgiveness and peace and purpose and life.

I found everything I had been searching for my whole life without even knowing I was searching.

There’s a verse in the New Testament in the letter to the Philippians where Paul himself a former rabbi a Pharisee of Pharisees talks about his journey to faith in Yeshua.

He lists all his credentials, all his accomplishments, everything he had going for him in Judaism.

And then he says, “But whatever were gains to me, I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.

What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.

I consider them garbage that I may gain Christ.

That’s my story, too.

I lost all things, position, reputation, family, community, financial security, everything.

But I gained Christ.

I I gained Yeshua, and he is worth more than all of it combined.

So, if you’re reading this and you’re Jewish and you’re searching, let me tell you, don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions.

Don’t be afraid to read the prophecies for yourself.

Don’t be afraid to pick up the New Testament and see if what it says is true.

Yes, it might cost you everything.

It cost me everything, but what you gain is infinitely greater than what you lose.

Yeshua is not asking you to stop being Jewish.

He’s asking you to become complete.

He’s asking you to find what Moses and David and Isaiah were all pointing toward.

He’s asking you to recognize that the Messiah your people have been waiting for isn’t coming.

He came and he’s coming back.

And if you’re reading this and you’re a Christian, let me tell you.

Your faith is more Jewish than you probably realize.

Yeshua was Jewish.

His disciples were Jewish.

The early church was Jewish.

The Bible was written almost entirely by Jews.

Your Messiah is the Jewish Messiah.

Love the Jewish people.

Pray for them.

Support them.

And when you share the gospel with them, do it with sensitivity and respect.

Remember that for many of them, accepting Yeshua means losing everything.

It means being cut off from family, from community, from everything they’ve ever known.

Don’t take that lightly.

Don’t be glib about it.

But also don’t give up because there are Jewish people out there right now who are searching, who are reading Isaiah 53 and Psalm 22 and Daniel 9 and wondering, who are feeling that same emptiness I felt, that sense that something is missing.

And they need to know that what’s missing is Yeshua, their Messiah, their savior of their king.

One day, and I believe this with all my heart, one day all Israel will recognize him.

The blindness will be lifted.

The veil will be removed, and we will mourn for the one we pierced, and we will rejoice in the one who saved us.

Until that day, I will keep telling my story.

I will keep teaching about the prophecies.

I will keep pointing both Jews and Gentiles to the truth that set me free.

My name is Michael.

I was a rabbi for 23 years.

I spent 47 years of my life devoted to Judaism, to Torah, to the traditions of my fathers.

And then I found the Messiah.

His name is Yeshua, Jesus of Nazareth.

He is the son of God, the lamb who takes away the sins of the world, the king who will reign forever.

He is alive.

He is real.

and he is waiting for you with open arms.

Whether you’re Jewish or Gentile, a religious or secular, sure of your faith or full of doubts, he’s waiting for you.

Come to him.

Ask him if he’s real.

Read the prophecies.

Read the Gospels.

Don’t take my word for it or anyone else’s word for it.

Search the scriptures for yourself.

And if you do with an honest heart, I believe you’ll find the same thing I found.

The truth.

And the truth will set you free.

This is my testimony.

This is my story.

And I share it with you in the hope that it will bring you closer to the one true God who loved us enough to become one of us, to die for us, and to rise again so that we might live.

May the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God who revealed himself in Yeshua, the Messiah, bless you and keep you.

May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.

May he turn his face toward you and give you peace.

Amen.

I have found the Messiah.

His name is Yeshua, Jesus of Nazareth.

He is the Son of God, the Lord and Savior of all mankind.

And I believe in him with all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength.

I stood before my congregation that Shabbat morning with my hands gripping both sides of the wooden podium, trying to keep them from shaking.

300 faces looked back at me.

Faces I had known for decades.

Faces I had married to their spouses.

Faces I had comforted at funerals.

Faces whose children I had held at their Brit Ma ceremonies when they were 8 days old.

The morning sunlight streamed through the tall windows of our synagogue, casting familiar patterns across the prayer shaws of the men swaying gently in their seats.

The women sat in their section, some with their heads covered, some with their prayer books open.

Everything looked exactly as it had looked every Shabbat for the past 23 years I had served as their rabbi.

But everything was about to change.

I had barely slept in 3 days.

My wife Rachel hadn’t spoken to me since the night before when I told her what I was planning to do.

My stomach felt like it was filled with stones.

My mouth was dry despite the water I had drunk before walking up to the beimma.

I looked out at the faces and felt a love for these people that nearly broke me.

I knew that in a few moments most of them would hate me.

Some would mourn for me as if I had died.

Others would spit at the mention of my name.

But I had found a truth, and the truth had set me free, even as it was about to cost me everything.

I took a breath and began to speak.

The words came out stronger than I expected.

I told them that I had spent the last 18 months on a journey I had never planned to take.

I told them that I had discovered something that shook the foundations of everything I thought I knew.

And and then I said the words that changed my life forever.

I have found the Messiah.

His name is Yeshua, Jesus of Nazareth.

He is the son of God, the Lord and Savior of all mankind, and I believe in him with all my heart, all my soul, and all my strength.

The silence that followed felt like the world had stopped breathing.

How did I get here?

How does an Orthodox rabbi, a man who spent his entire life devoted to Torah and the traditions of our fathers, come to believe in Jesus?

Let me take you back to the beginning.

Hello viewers from around the world.

Before our brother continues his story, we’d love to know where you are watching from and we would love to pray for you and your city.

Thank you and may God bless you as you listen to this powerful testimony.

I was born in Brooklyn in 1979, the second son of Mosha and Esther Silverman.

We lived in a small apartment in Burough Park in the heart of one of the most Orthodox Jewish communities in America.

My father worked as an accountant.

My mother raised us children.

I had two older sisters and one younger brother.

Our life revolved entirely around our faith.

I have memories from when I was very young, maybe four or 5 years old, of sitting at the Shabbat table on Friday nights.

My mother would light the candles just before sunset, covering her eyes with her hands, and whispering the blessing in Hebrew.

My father would come home from shul synagogue and would lift the cup of wine and sanctify the day.

We would eat chala bread that my mother had baked and we would sing the songs our ancestors had sung for thousands of years.

The apartment was small and cramped, but on Friday nights it felt like the most beautiful place in the world.

My grandfather, my father’s father, lived with us in those early years.

His name was Caim and he was a survivor.

He never talked much about the camps, but we knew.

We saw the numbers tattooed on his arm.

We saw the way he would sometimes stop in the middle of doing something and just stare off into the distance, his eyes seeing things we couldn’t imagine.

But his faith never wavered.

Not once.

He would wake up every morning at 5:00 and pray.

He would study Torah for hours.

He taught me to read Hebrew when I was 5 years old, sitting with me at the kitchen table with infinite patience as I stumbled over the letters.

One thing he told me has stayed with me my whole life.

I must have been seven or eight years old.

I and I asked him how he could still believe in God after what happened to him, after what he saw.

He looked at me with those deep sad eyes and he said that the Nazis had taken everything from him, his parents, his siblings, his first wife, and their baby daughter.

Everything.

But they couldn’t take his faith.

That was his.

That was the one thing they couldn’t touch.

And as long as he had his faith, as long as he had the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, they had not won.

I grew up believing that my faith was the most precious thing I possessed, more precious than life itself.

I was a serious child.

While my friends played stickball in the streets, I was studying.

I loved learning.

I love the Talmud, the arguments and the reasoning, the way the rabbis would debate the meaning of every word.

I love the smell of old books.

A the feel of the pages, the sense that I was connecting with thousands of years of wisdom.

By the time I was 13, when I had my bar mitzvah, I could read and understand large portions of the Torah in the original Hebrew.

My parents were so proud.

When I was 16, my rabbi approached my father about sending me to Yeshiva, a special school for advanced religious study.

This was a great honor.

It meant that the community leaders saw potential in me, that they believed I could become a rabbi myself one day.

My father cried when they told him.

My mother made a special Shabbat dinner to celebrate.

I spent the next eight years in intensive study.

I studied the Torah, all five books of Moses.

I studied the prophets and the writings, what we call the Tanakh, what Christians call the Old Testament.

I studied the Talmud, the massive collection of rabbitical debates and interpretations.

I studied the midrash, the ancient commentaries.

I studied the medieval scholars, rashi, mimmonades, nakmanites.

I learned Aramaic.

I learned the intricate details of Jewish law, what you can and cannot do on Shabbat, the proper way to observe the festivals, the dietary laws, the purity laws, every aspect of life governed by the Torah and the traditions.

I didn’t just learn these things academically.

I lived them.

I breathed them.

Judaism wasn’t something I did.

It was something I was.

It was in my bones, in my blood, in every breath I took.

When I put on my Teflin every morning, those leather boxes containing scripture that we bind on our arms and foreheads, I wasn’t just following a ritual.

I was connecting with God, with Moses, I’d with every Jewish man who had put on to fillain for the past 3,000 years.

When I kept Shabbat, resting from Friday evening to Saturday evening, I wasn’t just obeying a commandment.

I was participating in creation, remembering that God rested on the seventh day, sanctifying time itself.

This was my life.

This was my identity.

This was everything.

When I was 25, I married Rachel.

She was the daughter of a respected rabbi in Queens, a beautiful woman with dark eyes and a gentle spirit.

Our families arranged the introduction, but we fell in love on our own.

We were married under a chupa, a wedding canopy with our families and friends surrounding us.

We broke the glass to remember the destruction of the temple.

We danced and celebrated and started our life together.

Over the next 15 years, a God blessed us with three children.

Sarah was born first, then Benjamin 3 years later, then Miriam 5 years after that.

We raised them in the faith, the same faith that had been passed down to us.

We celebrated every holiday.

We kept our home kosher.

We sent the children to Jewish day schools.

On Friday nights, I would bless my children, placing my hands on their heads and reciting the ancient blessing.

I would watch them grow and learn and develop their own relationships with God and with Torah, and my heart would nearly burst with gratitude.

When I was 33 years old, I was offered a position as the rabbi of a midsized Orthodox congregation in New Jersey.

It was everything I had worked for, my own congregation, my own community to serve and teach and guide.

I accepted immediately.

I and we moved our family into a modest house near the synagogue.

Those early years as a rabbi were the happiest of my life.

I loved my work.

I loved teaching.

I loved counseling young couples before their weddings, helping them understand the sacred nature of marriage.

I loved sitting with families in their grief when they lost loved ones, offering what comfort I could from our tradition and our faith.

I loved studying with young men who wanted to deepen their knowledge of Torah.

I loved leading services, standing before the ark that held our Torah scrolls, feeling the weight of responsibility and the joy of service.

I was good at it.

The congregation grew.

People respected me.

Other rabbis sought my opinion on matters of Jewish law.

I published several articles in rabbitical journals.

I was invited to speak at conferences.

My life had purpose and meaning and direction.

But there was something else.

Something I didn’t talk about.

Something I barely admitted to myself.

Sometimes late at night when everyone else was asleep, I would lie awake and feel a kind of emptiness that I couldn’t name.

It wasn’t unhappiness exactly.

I loved my family.

I loved my work.

I believed in God with my whole heart, but there was this sense of incompleteness, like I was reading a book and some of the pages were missing, like I was looking at a puzzle with pieces that didn’t quite fit together.

I would pray and the feeling would go away for a while.

I would throw myself into my studies and my work and my family and I wouldn’t think about it.

But it would always come back, usually in the quiet hours of the night.

This vague sense that something was missing on that there was some truth I wasn’t seeing.

I had no idea that God was preparing me for the greatest shock of my life.

It started with a question from a student.

His name was Joshua.

We called him Josh and he was 17 years old, sharp and curious, always asking the kinds of questions that made me think.

We were studying the book of Isaiah together, working through the prophets as part of his preparation for university.

We had reached chapter 53, and Josh was reading aloud in Hebrew, translating as he went.

He got to verse 5 and stopped.

He read it again.

Then he looked up at me with a puzzled expression on his young face and asked me a question that would change everything.

Rabbi, he said, “This passage talks about someone who was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities, and it says the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds, we are healed”.

Who is this talking about?

Isn’t the Messiah supposed to come in glory and power?

Why would he suffer for our sins?

I gave him the standard answer, the answer I had been taught, the answer every Orthodox rabbi gives.

I explained that this passage was about the nation of Israel suffering in exile among the nations or it was about the righteous remnant of Israel or it was about the prophet himself.

The Messiah, I told him, would come as a conquering king, not as a suffering servant.

Josh nodded and we moved on.

But that night, alone in my study, I opened my Bible to Isaiah 53 and I read it again.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

And I had always read this as being about Israel, like about our suffering as a people.

But as I read the words that night, something bothered me.

The passage kept saying, “He, not they, not we.

He, one person, one suffering figure.

Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows.

Yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.

But he was pierced for our transgressions.

He was crushed for our iniquities”.

I read the whole chapter and then I read it again.

The suffering servant was bearing the sins of others.

He was being punished so that others could have peace.

His wounds brought healing.

This was substitutionary atonement.

One person suffering in the place of many.

But that’s exactly what the Messiah was supposed to do.

According to according to I felt a chill run through me.

I pushed the thought away.

number.

The Messiah would come in glory.

The Messiah would restore Israel.

The Messiah would reign on David’s throne.

That’s what we had always believed.

That’s what I had been taught.

I closed my Bible and went to bed, but I couldn’t sleep.

The words kept running through my mind.

By his wounds, we are healed.

By his wounds, we are healed.

It was just a small crack in the foundation of everything I believed.

I didn’t know it then, but that tiny crack was about to split wide open and bring my entire world crashing down around me.

And I would discover that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob had been trying to show me the truth all along.

I just hadn’t been willing to see it.

The truth that would set me free.

The truth that would cost me everything.

The truth that I would declare to my congregation on that devastating, glorious Shabbat morning.

He’s standing at the podium with my hands shaking and my heartbreaking and my soul finally finally whole.

I tried to forget about Isaiah 53.

I really did.

I told myself it was just one passage, just one question from a curious student.

Nothing to worry about.

I had studied these scriptures my entire life.

I knew what they meant.

Continue reading….
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