Just finally, Samantha, I I want to know like it’s been three years since that happened to you.

And I mean, all up, if we want to look at it, it was 13 years of stalking and then being abducted.

So, it was a long-term thing for you to deal with.

I imagine that changes a person, not just the incident itself in 2022, but that 13 years where you had to watch your back.

How do you think that’s changed you as a person now? And do you still have to take that experience into consideration as you step out into the world every day? Like is it is it getting further in your mind or is it still fresh for you? Like how do you recover? >> I think in some ways things are kind of getting better with time.

Um, like no matter what, if there was somebody in the house with me those first few months and they were making a noise, I just would feel very tense.

Um, like, oh, there’s somebody in the house.

Like, this is my roommate or my friend or something.

But like noises would set me off or like a stranger coming to my door to sell something or like a repair man or something um would really freak me out um that like first year or two.

And now I’m like, you know, it’s a thing that happens.

People solicit for different reasons from time to time or, you know, there’s a mailman that needs a signature for something.

Um, you know, those more common things.

I don’t so much get the heart racing like I used to.

Um, I’m still definitely somebody who looks over my shoulders a lot.

You know, I never I never have headphones in.

Um, I’m not wandering around by myself at night.

Um, you know, the common common things.

I live in a safe area, but um, yeah, and some of the like startle responses I feel like have gotten better with time.

Um, but there’s things that always like I’m very leerary about men after all of this.

And I don’t know how much that’s going to change.

Like people I have established relationships with with, great.

But like meeting new people in terms of friends or colleagues like I just am very suspicious to start from which I know isn’t always fair.

Um but those things like all of that has shaped you know how I interact with people.

Um or if like somebody cat calls me on the street or you know a man tries to hit at me hit on me at a bar.

Um just the way I respond to those things is like I don’t take any of that.

Um like my reaction is a lot more stern than it used to be.

Um and it’s not so much like a brush it off.

It’s like that’s not okay like you need to like step away kind of thing.

Um which >> but there’s no more playing it nice to help anyone’s feelings.

It’s literally just protect yourself now.

Yeah, it’s not so much, you know, being nice to people hasn’t really gotten me anywhere.

I’m still nice, I say, for the most part, but especially with men that seem like they have any interest, it I just not, you know, you don’t get the time of day.

Um, so some of those types of things have changed for sure.

Um, I’m getting a bit better about doing things like on my own.

I was somebody who’s like very independent.

I’d hike alone.

I go camping alone like sometimes and those are like things I just can’t I don’t feel safe doing anymore.

>> Sam, I’d love to end with I don’t know what advice you could give to someone who might have a stalker in their life right now.

Like if someone is dealing with what you dealt with and is like really not knowing how to handle it.

Like what do you tell people who say that they’re having a similar experience to you? >> I think I’d say like take it seriously.

like it’s easier to brush off um and think of it like oh it’s not a big deal but you don’t you don’t know that it isn’t a big deal yet.

Um and trying to get help sooner than later is always good.

Even if it’s just a matter of you having like a stalking log where you’re documenting the times this person is contacting you, what your response is or you know where you’re seeing them.

Um in the event you do need that and to file a police report sooner than later.

If the police roll their eyes at you, they roll their eyes their eyes at you.

Like there’s nothing.

You have to do something about it.

Um, and it’s discouraging too to be met with resistance or skepticism, but you know, taking it seriously and reporting it too, um, I think can help the person kind of go away sooner depending, you know, what their what their response or what they’re thinking.

Um, you know, communicate clearly.

Don’t, you know, oh, sorry, I’m busy.

you know, be very stern, be very clear, let friends and family know about it.

Um, not not so that they can be scared, but so that they are aware, you know, if something does happen to you, you know, to if they can be on the lookout if they see this person.

Um, I think jumping to the conclusion of stalking, you know, for me was tough.

I think you just like to think of, oh, this person’s annoying or like they just don’t leave me alone.

like they’re probably stalking you.

like it maybe isn’t to the ex, you know, extreme that mine was, but um I never would have guessed that this was something that could happen to me.

 

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