“So White People Make Children THIS Way? Can I Try Too?” the Innocent Apache Woman Asked the Rancher

…

Tobias, his ranch hand, the only employee Gideon had kept after Margaret died.

Tobias reigned in his sorrel mare, pushing his hat back.

He had the kind of face that smiled easily, open and honest, or so it seemed.

Boss,” he called, breathless.

“Them cattle near the south pasture, they look sick.

Three of them ain’t standing right.

Want me to separate them out, or you want to have a look first?” Gideon pulled Ash to a stop.

Without a word, he reached for the slate.

The chalk made a soft scratching sound as he wrote, each letter precise and clear.

When he finished, he turned the slate so Tobias could read it.

Quarantine them.

Burn the hay.

Tobias nodded, but his smile faded slightly.

He shifted in his saddle, uncomfortable.

“Right, we’ll do, boss,” a pause.

Then, as if he could not help himself, “Mr.

Hart, no offense, but folks in town been asking, wondering, I guess, why you don’t just, you know, talk.

” Doc Brennan, he said, “Your throat healed up fine after the accident 3 years back.

Said there ain’t no physical reason you can’t.

” Gideon’s eyes, already cold, went colder still.

He stared at Tobias for a long moment to moan.

Long enough for the younger man to drop his gaze and fidget with his res.

Then, without acknowledging the question, Gideon touched his heels to Ash’s sides and rode past, heading toward the southern pasture.

Tobias watched him go, his expression troubled.

When Gideon was 50 yard away, Tobias pulled a small notebook from his vest pocket.

He glanced around, making sure he was alone, then quickly scribbled something.

The camera held on his face just long enough to register the guilt there, the conflict before he stuffed the notebook back and rode in the opposite direction.

The southern pasture bordered the creek, or what passed for one.

This time of year, it was barely a trickle, winding through cottonwoods and willows that clung to its banks like desperate men to a rope.

Gideon dismounted and ground tied ash, then walked the fence line, checking for breaks, for signs of predators or thieves or simple decay.

The silence was absolute except for the wind and the occasional call of a raven.

He preferred it this way.

Silence was honest.

It made no promises it could not keep.

He was a quarter mile from where he had left Ash when he saw the buzzards, three of them circling lazy spirals against the white hot sky, carrying birds, death’s advanced scouts.

Gideon’s hand went to the cult revolver at his hip, thumb on the hammer, though he did not draw.

He moved toward the creek, toward where the buzzards marked their interest, his boots silent on the sandy soil.

He found her where the creek bent, creating a shallow pool no deeper than a man’s knee.

At first he thought she was dead.

She lay half submerged, face down, one arm stretched out toward the far bank as if she had been trying to crawl to safety when strength failed her.

Then he saw the chain.

Heavy iron links, the kind used for livestock, wrapped around her left ankle and secured to a wooden post driven deep into the creek bed.

The post was fresh, the wood still pale where the bark had been stripped.

Someone had chained her here deliberately.

Someone had meant for her to die.

Next to her, sprawled on his back in the shallow water, was a man, white, mid20s.

He wore the blue uniform of the United States Cavalry, though the jacket was torn and soaked dark with blood.

A gunshot wound center chest.

His eyes were open, staring at nothing, already glazed with death.

Gideon moved closer, his shadow falling across the girl’s body.

That was when she moved, just barely, her fingers twitched, clawing weakly at the sand.

He knelt beside her, ignoring the water soaking into his pants.

Carefully, he turned her over.

Apache, 17, maybe younger.

Her face was bruised, one eye swollen shut, lips cracked and bleeding.

She wore the remnants of a cotton dress, once white, now brown with dried blood and creek mud.

A gunshot wound in her left shoulder, poorly bandaged with torn cloth.

Fever burned off her skin like heat from a stove.

Her right hand was clenched in a fist.

Gideon gently pried her fingers open.

She was clutching a small brass pin, a cavalry insignia, the number seven etched into the metal from the dead soldier’s uniform.

For a long moment, Gideon did not move.

He stared at the girl, and something moved behind his eyes, some memory rising from deep water.

The camera pushed in close on his face, catching the pain there, the hesitation, the war between instinct and fear.

A flash, brief, fragmented, not quite a memory, more like the ghost of one.

A woman’s hand, pale- skinned, wearing a simple gold wedding band, reaching toward him.

Blood on wooden floorboards, dark and spreading.

His own voice screaming a name he could no longer say, screaming until his throat tore and the world went silent.

The flash ended.

Gideon was back in the creek, the cold water numbing his legs, the dying girl in front of him.

He made his choice.

Moving quickly now, he pulled a folding knife from his belt and went to work on the chain.

The links were too thick to cut, but where they attached to the iron cuff around her ankle, there was a bolt rusted from creek water.

He wedged the knife blade under it and pried.

Once, twice.

On the third try, the bolt snapped.

The girl’s eyes fluttered open as he lifted her.

dark brown, nearly black, unfocused with fever.

She made a sound, something between a whimper and a growl, and tried weakly to push him away.

“Shh,” Gideon breathed so quietly it was barely sound at all.

Not a word, just air.

He carried her out of the creek.

She weighed almost nothing, all bone and fever heat.

As he passed the dead soldier, he paused long enough to close the man’s eyes.

a small mercy, the only one he could offer.

Ash stood where Gideon had left him, patient as stone.

Gideon settled the girl across the saddle, then mounted behind her, holding her upright with one arm.

She had lost consciousness again, her head lolling against his chest.

He turned the horse toward home.

What he did not see, what the camera lingered on after he rode away, was the figure watching from the ridge above the creek.

A man in a dark coat, face obscured by shadow and distance, holding a pair of binoculars.

The figure watched Gideon ride north, then lowered the binoculars and pulled a small telegraph message pad from his coat pocket.

He wrote quickly in neat, precise letters.

Package located.

Hart has her.

Proceed as planned.

He signed it with a single letter, T.

The camera held on that letter, then cut to Tobias, back at the ranch, tying his horse to the corral fence.

The brand on his saddle caught the light.

The letter T burned into the leather.

The stone cabin sat 200 yd from the main ranch house, built into the hillside like it had grown there.

Gideon had built it himself 5 years ago when he and Margaret first claimed this land.

It was meant to be temporary, a place to live while they constructed the larger house.

But after Margaret died, Gideon had moved back into the cabin and left the main house empty.

Smaller space, fewer ghosts.

He carried the girl inside and laid her on the bed, the only bed, a simple frame with a corn husk mattress.

The cabin was one room, maybe 15 feet square.

A stone fireplace took up most of one wall.

A rough wooden table and two chairs, shelves holding tin plates, a coffee pot, canned goods, a rifle leaning in the corner by the door.

Gideon built a fire, though the day was warm because he knew fever and he knew shock, and he knew the cold that comes from blood loss.

While the kindling caught, he fetched water from the pump outside, filled a basin, and found the cleanest cloth he had.

The girl had not moved.

Her breathing was shallow, rapid, her skin ashen beneath the brown.

The gunshot wound in her shoulder had stopped bleeding.

But infection had set in.

He could smell it, sweet and rotten.

He cut away the makeshift bandage and the ruined dress beneath.

Working with the clinical detachment of someone who had dressed wounds before.

The bullet had gone through.

Entry and exit both visible.

That was good.

nothing to dig out, but the edges were angry red, hot to the touch.

He cleaned the wound with water, boiled and cooled, then packed it with clean cloth soaked in whiskey.

The girl’s eyes flew open when the alcohol hit the raw flesh, and she screamed or tried to.

What came out was a thin, broken sound, barely human.

She tried to sit up to fight, her good arm flailing weakly.

Gideon caught her wrist, held it gently but firmly.

Easy, he said, and the word cost him.

His voice was barely a whisper, rough as gravel, each syllable scraping his throat raw.

Easy.

The girl stared at him, her eyes wide with terror and confusion.

She said something in Apache, the words flowing like water, too fast for Gideon to catch individual meaning, though he recognized the language.

Then, in broken English, heavily accented, “No, no, please, no more.

” Gideon released her wrist and stepped back, hands raised, palms out.

Universal language.

I mean, no harm.

He pointed to the bowl of water, to the clean cloth, then to her shoulder.

Slowly, deliberately, he placed his hand over his own heart and shook his head.

The girl watched him, breathing hard.

Her body coiled tight as a spring, but she did not try to run.

Perhaps she knew she lacked the strength.

Perhaps she saw something in his face, in his eyes, that told her this man was not like the others who had hurt her.

Gideon moved to the table and picked up his slate.

He wrote, then held it up so she could see, “You are safe.

I will not hurt you.

” She stared at the words, her expression unreadable.

Then slowly her eyes moved from the slate to his face to the rifle in the corner.

The rifle was close to her, closer than to him.

He had placed it there deliberately, a gesture of trust or a test.

Who? She whispered, her English halting.

Who are you? Gideon wrote again.

My name is Gideon Hart.

This is my land.

You are safe here.

Safe? She repeated as if testing the word, seeing if it fit in her mouth.

Safe.

Then her eyes rolled back and she collapsed against the pillow, consciousness leaving her like water draining from a basin.

Gideon covered her with a blanket, then sat in the chair by the window, his rifle across his knees, and waited for her to wake.

She slept through the afternoon and into the night, fever dreams making her thrash and cry out.

Twice she spoke, her voice rising in panic.

The first time she cried Aayita over and over like a prayer or a curse.

The second time later, deeper in the fever, she said a different name.

Maria.

My name is Maria.

At that second name, Gideon went very still.

He stood and walked to the bedside, looking down at the girl’s face, slack with unconsciousness.

His hand trembled slightly as he reached for the silver cross necklace she wore, half hidden beneath the blanket.

He had noticed it earlier, but had not examined it.

Now he lifted it, careful not to wake her, and turned it in the firelight.

It was small, delicate, real silver tarnished gray.

And on the back, engraved in tiny precise letters, he read to Maria with love.

MH1 1870.

MH Margaret Hart, his wife’s initials.

The cross slipped from his fingers as if it had burned him.

He stepped back, his face gone white, and walked outside into the night, leaving the door open behind him.

The moon was a thin crescent, brilli crescent, barely enough light to see by.

Gideon walked 50 yards from the cabin and stopped, his hands braced on his knees, breathing hard like he had been running.

The camera stayed inside with the sleeping girl for a moment, then cut back to him, alone in the darkness.

When he finally straightened, he looked older, tired.

He pulled the slate from his belt, though there was no one to show it to, and wrote four words.

His hand shook so badly the letters were barely legible.

How is this possible? He stood there motionless, watching the words fade, staring at those words before he erased them and walked back inside.

Morning came cold and clear, the sun turning the eastern sky the color of old blood.

The girl woke before Gideon, who had dozed in the chair, his rifle still across his lap.

She was sitting up when he opened his eyes, the blanket pulled around her shoulders, watching him with the weary intensity of a wild animal.

“Water,” she said.

“Just that one word.

” Gideon rose, his back stiff from the awkward position, and poured water from the pitcher into a tin cup.

He handed it to her to her and stepped back, giving her space.

She drank it all in four long swallows, then held the cup out for more.

He refilled it twice before she was satisfied.

“Thank you,” she said, her English careful, formal, as if she had learned it from a book rather than conversation.

Gideon nodded.

He took up his slate and wrote, “Can you tell me your name?” She looked at the question for a long moment, and something complicated moved across her face.

pain, confusion, something like grief.

Aayita, she said finally.

It means first to dance in my mother’s tongue.

Apache, Gideon wrote, and the name Maria.

Her eyes went wide.

How do you know that name? He pointed to the cross at her throat.

She touched it reflexively, protectively.

I, she hesitated, her brow furrowing.

I don’t remember.

Sometimes I think my name is Maria.

Sometimes Aayita.

Pike.

He made me forget.

He said Maria was dead.

He said I was only Aayita now.

Gideon’s hand froze on the slate.

He wrote slowly.

Who is Pike? Reverend Pike, she said, and her voice went flat, all emotion draining from it.

He runs the mission.

San Miguel.

He takes children, Apache children, Mexican children.

says he saves them, teaches them God and English and how to work.

Her hands clenched in the blanket, but he doesn’t save.

He sells like cattle.

Gideon wrote, “How long were you with him?” “I don’t know.

Long time.

Since I was small, maybe 8 years old.

I don’t remember before.

Only pieces.

A woman, red hair.

She sang to me.

She gave me this.

She touched the cross again.

Then Pike’s men came.

They killed her.

They took me.

Gideon’s breathing had gone shallow.

His hand shook as he wrote the next question, but he had to know what was the woman’s name.

Aayita closed her eyes, searching for the memory, like a woman searching for something lost in dark water.

I don’t remember, but the name on the cross, MH.

She said those were her letters.

Her name began with M.

Gideon stood abruptly, the chair scraping loud against the floor.

He walked to the far side of the cabin, his back to her, his shoulders rigid.

After a long silence, he turned.

He wrote on the slate, each word deliberate, then held it up so she could read, “Her name was Margaret.

She was my wife.

” The silence that followed, was absolute.

Aayita stared at the words, her lips moving as if repeating them soundlessly, trying to make them make sense.

Your wife, she whispered.

The woman with red hair was your wife.

Gideon nodded.

She died.

Pike’s men killed her.

He nodded again.

Aayita looked down at the cross, then back at Gideon.

Why? she asked.

And it was not clear if she was asking why Margaret died or why Margaret had given her the cross or why Gideon had saved her or all of these things at once.

Gideon wrote, “She was helping Apache families, children, trying to get them away from Pike.

” He found out.

The girl absorbed this, her face very still.

Then softly, I remember now.

Not all of it, but some.

She was taking us somewhere.

Five of us, children, to the border, Mexico.

She said we would be safe there.

Then men came, men with guns.

She told us to run.

I ran.

I hid in the rocks.

I heard shooting.

I heard her scream.

A pause.

I heard a man scream too, screaming her name.

Margaret.

Over and over until the screaming stopped.

Gideon turned away again, his hand pressed flat against the stone wall.

That was you, Aayita said.

You were the man screaming.

He did not answer.

Could not answer.

The memory was too large, too sharp, still capable of cutting him even after 3 years.

After a long moment, Aayita spoke again, her voice gentler.

Pike found me 3 days later.

He said Margaret was dead.

He said if I told anyone what happened, he would kill the other children.

So I stayed silent.

I became Aayita.

I forgot Maria.

Gideon wrote his letters hard and angry on the slate.

How did you escape? A soldier, Corporal Wade.

He was new.

He saw what Pike was doing.

He said it was wrong.

Illegal.

He said he would help me get away.

That he had proof that he would take it to the marshall.

She looked down at her hands.

Three nights ago, we ran.

Pike’s men came after us.

They shot Wade.

He made me keep running.

I got to the creek before they caught me.

They chained me there.

Said Pike would come for me in the morning, but Wade must have shot one of them before he died because they left.

Maybe to get help.

Maybe just scared.

She looked up at Gideon.

Then you came.

He wrote the soldier Wade.

He is dead.

I know, she said softly.

I felt it when you found me.

He was holding my hand.

Then his hand went cold.

They sat in silence as the morning light grew stronger, filling the cabin with gold.

Two people bound by the ghost of a woman who had tried to save children and paid for it with her life.

Finally, Gideon wrote, “You cannot go back to Pike.

I know you cannot stay here.

If Pike knows I have you, he will come.

I know that, too.

” Then, after a pause, what will you do? Haya met his eyes and in them Gideon saw something he recognized the look of someone who had lost everything and found in that loss a terrible freedom.

I will find out who I am.

She said Maria or Aayita or something else and then I will make Pike answer for what he did to me to the others to your wife.

Gideon stared at her unmoving.

this girl who was barely more than a child who spoke of vengeance with the calm certainty of someone twice her age.

Then he nodded once slowly.

He wrote, “Then we find the truth together.

” That afternoon Gideon rode into town.

Red Creek was barely large enough to call a town.

One main street, dirt and ruted, lined with false front buildings that looked like stage sets.

general store, saloon, livery stable, assayers’s office, and a small sheriff’s station with a wooden sign that read Sheriff D.

Web in faded black paint.

Gideon had left Aayita at the cabin with the rifle and instructions written on his slate.

Trust no one.

If anyone comes, hide.

She had nodded, her face serious, understanding the gravity.

He tied ash to the hitching post outside the general store and went inside.

The store was dim after the bright sunlight, smelling of coffee and leather and pickles.

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