The Funniest Moments In Talk Show History

Jennifer Aniston would never forget that day after hearing this.

And this time, Kevin Hart was the one who became the victim of a celebrity’s teasing.

These are the funniest moments in talk show history.

And Steven Merchant decided to test his pickup lines live, but Nicole Scherzinger’s reaction was the complete opposite of what he expected.

Hey, looking good.

Saw you on the X Factor, Nicole.

Oh, that’s cool.

Yeah.

Jesus, that was enthusiastic.

You know, this is I’m not actually hitting on you.

Excuse me.

Who? Wait, who are you? Forget you.

I’ll talk to your more beautiful friend in the middle.

Okay.

Speaking of pickup lines, Borat pulled out one of his diplomatic flirts and turned the interview into the perfect mix of nervous laughter and secondhand embarrassment.

Point the finger at it.

It looks to me like Melanie may well be up for it because she seems to be responding in a way.

Would you like to make a toilet? Melanie, how much is she? When David Letterman started asking Julia Louie Drifus about her fitness routine, she even tried to answer, but the conversation took a turn that left the entire studio on edge.

Do you go to places? Do you work out? Do you a gym? You know, like a spa kind of deal.

I actually did go to the spa recently to get in preparation coming to your show.

And I I got a Well, you’re welcome.

I got I got a full leg wax.

Woo.

When you’re getting a full legs wax, you know that means you get a bikini wax, too.

Take your word for that.

Okay.

And what what did you think was going to happen here? Katy Perry decided to call attention to a comment from Ross Noble, but his reaction was hilarious.

So, how many followers do you have? 20 million something.

And it’s all around the world as well.

So, there’ll be like Chinese kids and mildly racist.

How is that? Oh, hang on.

I was saying Chinese kids racist.

You’re allowed to say a place of kids that are no good.

Oh, you know what I fancy for tea tonight? Chinese racist.

Another time she tried to compliment Paul McCartney by talking about his career and longevity.

But the way she mentioned his age made the mood turn awkward in two seconds.

I’m in it for the long haul.

I want to have a career.

I hope to have half the career that you have.

or I think you’ve been doing this for longer, you know, than I’ve even been alive.

The fact that you’re still here today in 2013.

The fact that you’re not dead.

I’m going to talk in that sense.

Cole Sherzinger started telling how she met Simon Cowell and out of nowhere decided to throw in a jab that left Conan O’Brien completely speechless for a moment.

The way that I met Simon was they asked me to be a guest judge.

focus Conan to be um fancy very calm.

It has to be he has kind of harded so I am sorry.

Finally, we’ll be real here for a second.

Speaking of You didn’t think I was going to look down there? I think This medical explanation was going really well until Ellen asked a question about the breathing device that left everyone in complete shock.

They give you in the hospital these breathing things, right? So, wait, don’t touch it yet.

So, what you do is, you know, that you suck in and you breathe.

It’s for your lungs so you don’t get pneumonia because all the flu, you know, you could uh build up fluid in your lungs.

So, it’s to keep your your lungs strong.

So, right.

So, you do that and you have to make all the balls go to the top.

So, I thought you love games.

I love games.

Let’s play the game and whoever can suck their balls the hardest wins.

You suck, not blow.

You of course I’d have to teach her.

When Elizabeth Banks told Kylie Manugg to seduce a very unattractive man, the studio instantly turned into a full-on laughter factory.

Find an unattractive male and serenade him.

Yes.

Totally.

as [ __ ] to Ricky.

Look up and then will you play the role for me? Go on then.

I’ll try and make myself look trying to make yourself.

And Conan’s reaction to what his guest said is simply priceless.

Single single person.

Oh my god.

Let’s talk about so single.

All I want is a big That’s it.

And I mean, if it’s attached to a nice person, okay, what a bonus.

That’s what I want.

Tiffany Hattish turned the interview into an improvised flirting session, complimenting Dave Bautista like he was a five-star restaurant dish.

You know, I I transitioned from amateur wrestling to professional wrestling to jiu-jitsu to Muay Thai.

I know a little jiu-jitsu from movies.

Tiffany, let’s all do jiu-jitsu together.

Is this a thing again? No, it’s not.

It can be.

An aspect of show business.

Oh my god, look at you.

Yes, beef came out.

Yeah, it was peasy.

Actress Sophia Vgara was talking about her family until Jimmy Kimmel made a suspicious comment about her son that made everyone pause for a moment just to process what he meant.

It’s because they see me out.

I arrive without makeup or anything at 5 in the morning.

I’m sure you’re a real monster.

Yeah.

Do your son have like He must have hundreds of boyfriends wanting to sleep over, right? I mean, my son have hundreds of boyfriends wanted to sleep.

I don’t mean boyfriends.

I mean boy I I don’t mean You know what I mean, right? Whatever.

Yeah.

Now, check out Denzel’s reaction when he heard a slightly suspicious comment about his looks.

We were sitting there and and uh uh I I’m a heterosexual uh and and and even I was caught up in the conversation about how good-looking you are.

Wait a minute.

Cameron and Kylie said they wanted to be asked out.

And Richard Ide entered the conversation with such perfect timing that he instantly changed the mood of the studio because Cameron, you’re single at the moment.

I am.

And Kylie, you’re single at the moment.

Mhm.

Now, meeting people and dating is hard enough.

But Cameron Diaz and Kylie, I’m single at the moment.

Well, hello.

But Cameron Diaz and Kylie Man, how like can can guys ask you out? Yeah.

But how? Oh, how is that possible? You just ask.

What’s the ratio of people asking you out to you saying yes? Good question.

The conversation was about dogs and affection until the guest decided to be way too honest, leaving Johnny Carson completely frozen on the spot.

You mentioned that you were very sensitive about the animals cuz you have uh at least a half a dozen dogs at your house.

You’re very kind.

I do have I have several.

Yes, I have I have quite a few doggies.

I’m not fond of animals.

You what? I’m not fond of animals.

I don’t want to have a scratch out here tonight.

Uh what? Why is that? I don’t want anything to lick me that’s not going to marry me.

And that day, Jennifer Aniston really caught David Letterman’s attention.

And you look great.

That’s that’s a tremendous outfit.

And and and the reason that’s a tremendous outfit is you have tremendous legs.

Fantastic legs.

You can only you can only wear that if you have you have lovely uh lovely well-shaped muscular lengthy lovely legs or legs.

I’m telling you, you got something there.

Run.

You know what? It works how it works.

Uh and Miley Cyrus revealed a different phobia during her appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live.

I hate paper.

Like I looking at that makes me want to vomit.

Don’t even do it.

Should I move it away? That’s worse.

Moving it is worse.

And then the real problem for me with paper is when when people have dry dry hands and they touch paper and then it’s Christmas and it’s cold and everyone’s hands are dry and they’re all touching paper.

Wow.

I don’t just don’t even worry.

I love text message.

No paper.

Email, no paper.

Phone call, no paper.

It’s the p it.

I can’t even talk about it.

What about rolling papers? I think you’re probably okay with those, right? My hands aren’t dry.

Okay.

And neither are the papers because I know you know you have to lick the paper.

That was a very professional.

Yeah, it was a good lick.

I’ve done that before.

Big paper.

Also, when they mentioned the famous rumor about Quentyn Tarantino and feet, the guest reaction was immediate.

uh hard to uh to not notice when you watch these films, which is there are a lot of shots of feet, especially your feet.

A lot of there’s a lot of footsy work in this lots of footsy film.

Yeah.

In in in volume one and in volume two, just constant.

I’m wondering there’s this rumor that maybe Quentyn Tarantino has a foot fetish.

I think he staunchly denies it, but you should you should definitely address it with him.

He claims that every foot shot was essential to the telling of the story.

Charlie Hunnham was telling how he lost his prom date when he realized that the date thief was literally sitting right in front of him.

Last couple of days um and asked a girl, one of this popular girl in question, if she’d like to go with me, she said yes.

And this was literally I think the date before the disco.

Um lo and behold, the turns out that she was actually going to go with somebody else.

Um and that other person was actually Charlie Sebastian Lipiac.

That’s the dirty bastard.

I didn’t know.

Wow.

You know, at the time you look older than me.

At the time, Alice Eve dodged the flirt so smoothly that Craig Ferguson completely lost his track.

Do you want to do the awkward pause now? I mean, it’s about time.

No, let’s not do the awkward.

You don’t want to do the awkward pause.

It’s so awkward.

What do you want to do then? I want to feel comfortable.

Yeah.

Come over here then.

Hey.

Hey.

My arms don’t work, but I got a lot of spirit.

I don’t know.

I don’t think that’s appropriate.

Jeff, I know this young lady’s parents.

James Blunt was totally relaxed until Graham started reading some of his tweets that were never meant to see the light of day.

Little bit of James Blunt never hurt anybody.

Depends where I put it.

I have this dire need to listen to James Blunt when I’m menrating.

Useful feedback.

I’ll pass this on to my marketing team.

When My Kuna started giving her opinion about men who order Appleinis, Conan O’Brien grew more and more uncomfortable, like he was about to have a live identity crisis.

But you wouldn’t think less of the guy if the guy wanted an Appleini.

Yeah.

Well, I think he’d be, you know, a little but now I wouldn’t think less of him.

Do you like apple teini? Oh, I don’t know.

I don’t.

Give me a whiskey.

Nina Derev just wanted to demonstrate a yoga pose, but all it took was saying she would use Conan as a wall for him to reach a level of excitement the audience instantly understood.

And you actually said that you do uh that you were going to show me a yoga move out here.

And I will not be denied.

I begged you.

And I have to take off my shoes if I’m going to be really doing this.

And I need your help.

Okay.

Oh.

forward.

What do I do? Just stay straight.

This is called the scorpion.

Okay.

And because usually you do this in a in a yoga studio and there’s a wall, so I’m going to have to use you as my wall.

Is that okay? Boohoo.

There we go.

This is awesome.

Huh? Kevin Hart started explaining his super serious plan to keep his kids down to earth.

And Naomi Scott listened with that expression of someone already preparing the perfect comeback.

And Kevin, you you brought your kids back to Philadelphia, but not for like an art day.

You brought them back to where you’re from.

Yeah.

Okay.

And was it was it to impress them? Why did you bring them back? Well, you know, uh, parenting is something that I take pride in.

Um, you know, I want to make sure that my kids understand the value of hard work and and what the meaning behind it because it’s not.

There’s a there’s a reality behind it.

I want to take you to where dad is from.

So, we take a trip, you know, we take a real trip to Philadelphia, uh, so you can understand.

You land in your private life lesson.

Listen, every lesson has a moment of of of disbelief.

Just follow me for a second.

I’m with you.

I’m with you.

Lesson didn’t start till we got off the Sasha Baron Cohen walked on stage with that serious look only to seconds later turn the speech into one of the most unexpected punchlines of the night.

This movie was a life-changing experience.

I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America.

But I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America, a side of America that rarely sees the light of day.

I refer, of course, to the innocent testicles of my co-star, Kender Vicious.

When I was in that scene and I stared down and saw your two wrinkled golden globes on my chin, I thought to myself, I’d better win a bloody award for this.

While Britney Spears was talking about her pregnancy, David Letterman tried to crack a joke, but she fired back so fast that the studio was left in shock for a full second.

Well, what do you think? I like I like the whole prep.

It was cool.

It was very interesting.

I think you did a very good job.

And and what what are we on to something here or not? Don’t worry, Dave.

It’s not yours.

I think that’s good news for both of us.

Starting with when the Star Wars universe and the Barbie world came together and Harrison Ford made a huge slip up with Ryan Gosling on the Graham Norton show.

I read it and I thought it was awesome.

I read about the character that um uh Ryan Ryan it’s Ryan Ryan called up the producers and I said this is great.

I can’t wait to get blah blah blah.

Why don’t we see if we can get um Ryan Ryan Ryan Gosling.

I don’t know how Brian got Ryan.

You got that on tape.

Ryan Gosling.

Another time on the same show, Ryan couldn’t hold it together when Greg Davies took over the studio with a story from his days as a teacher.

I went home to see my mother and then I went back and while I was at home, my mother did my washing for me cuz I was only 33.

I was really hung over.

I went there and about break time, I felt really uncomfortable.

I thought something’s not right, you know.

And I pulled my trousers down and some of my mother’s knickers had got had got mixed up in the washing and I was wearing my mother’s and I went, “Oh god, no.

” Oh.

I remember going, “Oh, you loser.

This is such a low point.

Youing loser.

” And then the curry and the booze kicked in from the night before.

I did like a feal Jackson collar.

When Letterman asked why she avoided the show, Sher answered so fast and so honestly that it became unclear whether it was a joke or not.

Of course, that’s not really the reason.

What What was the re I mean, you you must have had a change of heart about something.

No, actually, I don’t know.

Because I thought that I would never want to do this show with you.

Now, why? Now, let’s let’s explore this a little.

Why? Because you thought I was a an ass African kind of why that motif.

Where are we going? I’m going to reach over here and grab something like the I am.

Okay.

When Sophia Vergara explained that she hosted a show where people jumped off buildings completely naked.

Everyone didn’t know whether to laugh or be shocked.

And what kind of things would you do on this show? Everybody would do anything they wanted to do.

like really crazy stuff like jump naked and with parachutes and like but you do that you know that little blur thing.

Why did you do it? No, no, no.

I was the host.

I will make him do it.

So you make men or women jump out naked? That was the man who did it and you could see the little blur.

I’m sure.

But soon as he saw you, it wasn’t that little.

Yeah, the blur grew.

Hey, forget it.

Don’t see my movie.

See her.

Dan, you don’t care.

Yeah, she she ain’t chasing Poppy.

Poppy’s chasing her.

The conversation about her waitressing days was going smoothly until the actress’s front commission got mentioned, making the mood between Nazan Boniati and the studio change in 3 seconds.

Did you start acting right away or did you have to get other work? Um, no.

I had to to wait my way around New York and save money and wait tables.

Did you do that? Yeah, I did that.

Yeah, that’s fun.

Yeah, that’s a lot of fun.

That’s a great job, isn’t it? They’re like, “Wow.

” Yeah.

And they don’t tip either, especially when you yell at them.

Well, I have boot.

Well, yeah, but you know, I have boobs.

So, you do.

I got I got I got some nice tips.

I don’t know, right? They know, right? No, I’m just slowing things down for the person that types it out for the uh for the audience who are hard of hearing.

Tip PS.

Nice.

Maria Manonas dropped a very bold compliment in the middle of the conversation and Conan O’Brien didn’t waste even a second before firing back with the same intensity and everyone burst out laughing.

You just got hotter.

Those absoo boy.

You had me in an incredible trance and then you broke me out of it.

And this moment proves that we all have to go through some very unusual situations to keep our jobs.

Look at what Ellen asked her employee to do.

And you’re a people person.

Uh but you burn easily.

Um, and you put this on and and at least you know no one will be able to see how embarrassed you are wearing it cuz you won’t somebody you can’t really see it without Claudia.

Will you put this on? Show people what this looks like.

Sure.

No, don’t pull your hair out.

The hair is not supposed to come out through the eyehole.

Put the hair back in.

You’re making it look stupid.

Next to Jackie Chan, Conan had the courage to say he was an amazing martial artist, making the audience start laughing before he even finished the sentence.

But I’m known in America as an incredible martial artist myself.

I don’t know why this audience laughed at that, but these people aside, yeah, I’m actually really uh incredible.

My skills are really uh amazing.

Heat.

Heat.