Va Yousef told me about you before he was arrested.

My heart stopped.

Dr.

Ysef, the hospital director, the man who had been executed in Al- Naim Square 2 months earlier.

I whispered, “How do you know Dr.

Ysef?” He said, “We were part of the same church.

We met in secret in the basement of this hospital.

” I stared at him.

He continued, “There are 15 of us believers.

We meet every Thursday night at midnight in the morg.

No one goes there at night.

It is the safest place.

I said, “You are telling me this.

Why?” He said, “Because Dr.

Yousef told me that if anything happened to him, I should find you.

” He said, “You were searching.

” [music] He said, “You were close.

” Tears filled my eyes.

I said, “I do not know what I believe.

” He said, “Then come and see.

” 3 days later, he was executed.

But before he died, he gave me the location, [music] the morg.

Thursday, midnight.

I did not sleep for 2 days.

I kept thinking, this is a trap.

This is a test.

If I go, I will be arrested.

[music] I will be killed.

But I also thought, what if it is real? What if there are others like me? Or what if I am not alone? On Thursday, November 5th, 2015, at 11:55 p.

m.

, I walked down to the hospital morg.

My hands were shaking.

I opened the [music] door, and there they were, 15 people sitting in a [music] circle in the dark, surrounded by the bodies of the dead.

They looked up at me or one of them stood, a woman, maybe [music] 50 years old.

She smiled and said, “Welcome, brother.

We have been praying for you.

I broke down.

I fell to my knees and I wept.

And they gathered around me and prayed.

That night they told me their stories.

A nurse who had been a Muslim her whole life until she had a dream of Jesus, a janitor [music] who had found a Bible in the trash and read it out of curiosity.

A pharmacist [music] whose Christian wife had been killed by ISIS.

But before she died, she forgave her killers.

And he could not understand how.

[music] So he started reading the Bible to find out.

A teenage boy whose entire family had been executed.

And he was the only one who survived because he hid under the bodies.

Each of them had lost everything and each of them had found Jesus.

They asked me, “Karu, Karim, do you believe that Jesus is the son of God?” I said, “I do not know, but I want to.

” They said, “Then let us pray.

” And we prayed.

I do not know how to describe what happened next.

I felt something break inside me [music] like a dam that had been holding back a flood.

All the anger, all the guilt, [music] all the fear, all the questions, it all came pouring out.

And in the middle of that chaos, I [music] felt peace.

Not happiness, not relief, peace.

[music] A deep, unshakable peace that made no sense.

I was in a morg in the middle of an ISIS controlled [music] city surrounded by people who could be executed at any moment.

And [music] I felt peace.

I looked up and I said, “I believe.

” And they baptized me.

Right there in the morg in a metal basin [music] used for washing bodies.

One of the men, a former Imam named Tariq, said [music] the words, “I baptized you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

” And when I came up out of the water, I was a new person.

[music] I was a Christian.

For the next 3 months, I lived a double life.

By day, [music] I was Dr.

Karim al- Masri, loyal Muslim, surgeon for the caliphate.

[music] By night, I was a follower of Jesus, meeting in secret with the underground church.

We prayed together.

We read scripture together.

We encouraged each other.

[music] And we helped Christians escape.

The church had a network, safe houses, smuggling routes.

We used ambulances to transport refugees out of the city, [music] hiding them under medical equipment disguised as patients.

I used my position as a surgeon to forge medical documents to create fake transfer orders to get people past [music] the checkpoints.

In 3 months, we helped 42 people escape Raqqa.

42 lives.

But I was living on borrowed time.

And I knew it.

In January [music] 2016, I made a mistake.

I was engaged to a woman named Ila.

We had been promised to each other since we were teenagers.

She was beautiful, intelligent, devout.

She noticed I [music] was different.

I was distracted.

I was distant.

I stopped going to Friday prayers.

I made excuses.

One night, she confronted me.

She said, [music] “Karim, what is wrong with you? You are not the man I agreed to marry.

I should have lied.

[music] I should have made up an excuse.

But I was tired of lying.

I looked at her and I said, “Lila, I need to [music] tell you something.

And I need you to promise me you will not tell anyone.

” She promised.

[music] I told her everything.

I told her about the Bible, about the church, about my baptism, [music] about Jesus.

She stared at me in horror.

She stood up and said, “You have lost your mind.

” I said, “Lila, [music] please just listen.

” She said, “You are a mad, an apostate.

[music] Do you know what that means? Do you know what they will do to you?” I said, [music] “I know, but I cannot deny the truth.

” She [music] started crying.

She said, “I loved you, Karim.

I was going to spend my life with you, but I cannot marry a traitor to Islam.

” I said, “I am not a traitor.

I am just.

” She said, “If you do not renounce this madness, I will tell your father.

” I begged her.

[music] I got on my knees and I begged her to keep my secret.

She looked at me with tears streaming down her face and said, “I will give you one week.

If you do not come back to Islam, I will tell everyone.

” And she [music] left.

I did not sleep that night.

I prayed.

I asked God, “What do I do?” And the answer I felt in my spirit was clear.

Do not [music] deny me.

One week later, Ila came to me and asked, “Have you renounced?” I [music] said, “No.

” She said, “Then I have no choice.

” And she told my father.

February 10th, 2016, [music] my father came to the hospital.

He walked into my office, closed the door and said, “Eupy, tell me it is not true.

” I looked at him.

[music] This man I had respected my whole life.

This man who had taught me everything I knew about honor and integrity.

And I said, “It is true, Father.

I have given my life to Jesus Christ.

” He slapped me hard across the face.

I had never seen him so angry.

He said, “Do you [music] know what you have done? Do you know the shame you have brought on this family?” I said, “Father, I am not trying to shame you.

I am trying to follow the truth.

” He said, “The truth? The truth is that you are a fool.

The truth is that you have thrown away everything, your career, your family, your future for a lie.

” I said, “Jesus is not a lie.

” He said [music] Jesus was a prophet nothing more and you are committing sherk.

You are worshiping a man as God.

You are going to hell Karim.

I said I do not believe that anymore.

He stared at [music] me and then he said the words that broke my heart.

You are no longer my son.

I said father please.

He said, “I will give you 24 hours to leave Raqqa.

If you are still here tomorrow, I will report [music] you to the authorities myself, and your brother will do what must be done.

” He walked out.

I sat in my office alone.

” And I wept.

That night, my mother called me.

She was crying so hard she could barely speak.

She said, [music] “Karim, please, please come home.

Please tell your father you were confused.

Please renounce this.

I cannot lose you.

I said, “Mama, I love you, but I cannot deny Jesus.

” [music] She said, “Then you are killing me, Kareem.

You are killing me.

” And she hung up.

2 days later, she had a heart attack.

She died in the hospital, the same hospital where I worked.

Or I was not allowed to see her.

My father would not let me attend the funeral.

[music] I killed my mother, not with my hands, but with my faith.

That is what my father told everyone.

That is what Rasheed believed.

3 days after my mother’s funeral, Rasheed came to find me.

I was in my room packing [music] my things.

I was planning to run, to disappear, to join the refugees fleeing to Turkey.

He walked in without knocking.

[music] He looked at me with red swollen eyes.

He said, “Tell me it is not true, [music] Karim.

Tell me you did not betray Islam.

Tell me you did not kill our mother.

I said, I did not kill her, Rashid.

I loved her.

[music] He said, then why did you do this? Why did you convert to Christianity? [music] Why did you destroy our family? I said, because I found the truth.

Because Jesus is real.

[music] Because he loves you, Rashid.

He loves you and he wants to save you.

[music] He punched me.

I fell to the ground.

He stood over me shaking and [music] said, “Do not ever say that to me again.

” I looked up at him and said, “I forgive you.

” He started crying.

He fell to his knees and said, “I do not want to do this, Karim.

I do not want to hurt you, but they are watching me.

If I do not deal with you, they will kill both of us.

They will say I am protecting an upper state.

They will say I am weak.

” [music] I said, “Then let them kill us both.

” He said, “I have a life, Karim.

I have a future.

I have a position in the caliphate.

I am not [music] throwing that away for you.

” I said, “Then do what you have to do.

” He wiped his eyes.

[music] He stood up.

He said, “I will give you 48 hours.

Run.

Disappear.

[music] I will tell them you escaped.

I will say I tried to stop you, but you got away.

I said, “I am not running.

” He said, “What?” I said, “If I run, they will hunt the church.

They will torture people until someone gives them names.

I will not let that happen.

I will face [music] this.

” He stared at me like I was insane.

He said, “You are going to die, Karim.

” I said, “I know.

” [music] He said, “And you are okay with that.

” I said, “Jesus died for me.

I can die for him.

Rasheed shook his head.

He said, “You are a fool.

” And he left.

Two days later, ISIS intelligence raided the hospital.

They arrested me in the middle of a surgery.

They dragged me out of the operating room, still in my scrubs, covered in blood.

They threw me in a cell.

And Rasheed was given his orders.

He was to execute me publicly in Al- Naim Square to prove his loyalty to ISIS to prove he was not weak or to prove he loved the caliphate more than he loved his brother.

The night before my execution, he came to my cell.

He sat down across from me.

He would not look me in the eyes.

He said, “I am sorry, Karim.

” I said, “I forgive you.

” He said, “I do not want to do this.

” [music] I said, “I know.

” He said, “But I have no choice.

” I said, “You always have a choice, Rasheed.

” He finally looked at me.

[music] Tears were streaming down his face.

He said, “I love you, brother.

” I said, “I love you, too.

” He said, “I will make it quick.

I promise.

” And then he left.

I did not sleep that night.

I prayed.

I read the few Bible verses I had memorized.

And I prepared to die.

Right now, as you watch [music] this, there are thousands of believers in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, North Korea [music] facing the exact same choice my brother faced.

Loyalty to family or loyalty to Christ.

[music] If you believe their stories matter, if you believe persecution is not something we can ignore, then type one word in the comments, Karim.

[music] Let my name be a memorial.

Let it be a reminder that faith [music] costs something and let it be a signal to YouTube’s algorithm that these testimonies must be heard.

March 14th, 2016 dawn.

I woke up in my cell to the sound of [music] boots on concrete.

Two guards opened the door and said, “It is time.

” They pulled me to my feet.

My hands were bound behind my back with rough rope that cut into my wrists.

They pushed me down a hallway, up a flight of stairs, [music] and out into the blinding Syrian sun.

A truck was waiting, a caged truck, the kind used to transport animals.

They threw me inside.

There were three other prisoners with me.

Two men and a woman, all accused of crimes against the caliphate.

I did not ask what they had done.

It did not matter.

We were all going to the same place, Al-Naimm Square.

The drive took 15 minutes.

I could hear the crowd before I could see them.

[music] Shouting, chanting, cheering.

Public executions were entertainment in Raqqa.

Families brought their children.

Vendors sold food.

People took [music] photos.

When the truck stopped, the guards opened the cage and dragged us out one by one.

The square was packed.

I estimated 200 [music] people, maybe more.

In the center of the square was a raised platform and standing on that platform in his black uniform holding a microphone [music] was my brother Rashid.

He saw me.

Our eyes met and for just a second I saw the boy I grew up with.

The boy who taught me how to ride a bike.

The boy who protected me from bullies.

But then his face hardened and he looked away.

The other prisoners were taken to the side.

I was brought forward to the center of the platform.

The crowd quieted.

Rashid raised the microphone and began to speak.

In the name of Allah, the most gracious, the most merciful.

We are gathered here today to carry out justice according to the law of the caliphate.

His voice was steady practiced.

The man before you [music] is Dr.

Karim al- Masri.

He was a surgeon.

He was trusted with the lives of our fighters.

He was given honor and position.

He paused.

But he betrayed us.

He betrayed Islam.

He committed the crime of apostasy.

He converted to Christianity.

He worshiped a false god.

He spread lies and corruption.

The crowd began to shout, “Mort, [music] mortad, apostate.

” Rashid raised his hand and and they quieted again.

[music] According to Sharia law, the punishment for apostasy is death.

But before the sentence is carried [music] out, the accused will be given one final chance to repent.

He turned to me.

He handed me the microphone.

He [music] said loud enough for everyone to hear.

Karim al- Masri, do you renounce [music] Christianity? Do you return to Islam? Do you declare that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his prophet? The square was silent.

[music] 200 people waiting for my answer.

I looked at Rashid.

I looked at the crowd.

And then I looked up at the sky.

It was a beautiful day, clear, blue, the kind of day that makes you grateful [music] to be alive.

I took a breath and I spoke.

My name is Dr.

Kharim al- Masri.

I am 34 years old.

I was born a Muslim.

I was raised [music] in a devout family.

My father is an imam.

I memorized the Quran.

I prayed five times a day.

I fasted during Ramadan.

I believed with all my heart that Islam was the truth.

I paused, but I was wrong.

The crowd erupted.

Rashid tried to take the microphone back, but I held on.

I shouted over the noise, “Islam is not the truth.

Jesus [music] Christ is the truth.

He is the son of God.

He died for my sins.

He rose from the dead and he is alive today.

” People were screaming now, throwing things, [music] rocks, shoes.

I kept talking.

I have seen him.

I have felt his love.

I know him.

And I would rather die for him than live without him.

Rashid ripped [music] the microphone out of my hands.

He was shaking.

He said into the microphone, “The accused has refused to repent.

The sentence will be carried out.

” Two guards forced me to my knees.

I looked out at the crowd and I saw my father.

He was standing in the back, half hidden behind other people.

Our eyes met.

He was crying [music] and then he turned away.

He could not watch.

Rashid stepped behind me.

I heard the sound of a pistol being [music] cocked.

I closed my eyes.

I prayed, “Jesus, I am coming home.

Receive my spirit [music] and please, please save my brother.

” I heard Rashid’s voice, barely a whisper meant only for me.

Forgive me.

And then I heard the gunshot.

Pain exploded in my chest.

I fell forward.

I could not breathe.

[music] I heard a second gunshot.

More pain.

I was on the ground now, face down, tasting dust and blood.

I could hear the crowd, but it sounded distant, like I was underwater.

I could feel my heart beating, slow, irregular, fading.

And then something happened.

I cannot explain it.

I was still conscious, but I was not in my body anymore.

I was above it.

I could see myself lying on the platform, blood [music] pooling around me.

I could see Rashid standing over me, the gun still in his hand, his face blank.

I could see the crowd beginning to disperse.

And then I saw him.

Jesus.

He was standing next to my body.

He was not glowing.

He was not floating.

He looked [music] real, solid.

more real than anything I had ever seen.

He was wearing simple clothes.

His hands were scarred.

[music] He looked down at my body and then he looked up at me.

He smiled and he spoke.

His voice was gentle, kind.

[music] He said, “Not yet, Karim.

You have work to do.

” I tried to [music] speak, but I had no voice.

He reached down and placed his hand on my chest right where the bullets had entered.

And I felt warmth, not heat, not burning.

warmth, [music] like sunlight, like home.

He said, “I am with you.

I have always been with you and I will never leave you.

” And then everything went black.

I do not know how long I was unconscious.

When I woke up, I was not in heaven.

I was still in Alna Square.

It was dark, nighttime.

The crowd was gone.

I was lying in a pool of my own blood, cold and stiff.

I tried to move.

Pain shot through my chest like fire.

But I was alive.

I should not have been alive.

I am a doctor.

I know anatomy.

I know physiology.

The bullets Rashid fired entered my chest at close range.

One punctured my left lung.

The other missed my heart by 3 mm.

3 mm.

[music] If that bullet had been 3 mm to the right, it would have severed my aorta.

I would have bled out in seconds.

[music] But it did not.

It missed.

Not by luck, not by chance, by design.

I tried to sit up.

I could not.

[music] I was too weak.

I thought, “This is it.

” I survived the execution, but I am going to die here alone in [music] the dark.

And then I heard voices, footsteps.

I tried to call out, but my voice was gone.

A flashlight beam swept [music] across the square.

And then it landed on me.

I heard a gasp.

He is alive.

He is alive.

Hands grabbed me.

Gentle hands.

I was lifted, carried.

I passed out again.

When I woke up the second time, I was in a small room.

A clinic [music] maybe or a house.

I could not tell.

There were people around me.

Faces I recognized.

The church.

The underground church.

A woman was cleaning my wounds.

A man was starting an IV.

One of them leaned over me and said, “Dr.

[music] Karim, can you hear me?” I nodded.

He said, [music] “You are safe.

We got you out, but you need to stay still.

You have lost a lot of blood.

” I whispered, “How?” He said, [music] “Your brother sent us a message.

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